Prank Calls
by Nessie71
Summary: Kirigiri and Naegi are bored one day at the Future Foundation HQ and decide to pull a few pranks one Togami. Minor NaegixKirigiri shipping :) T for swearing. One shot for now, though I MIGHT continue


"Ok how about... Mike Rotch?" Suggests Naegi.

"Hm... Drew P. Wiener?" Kirigiri says after thinking for a moment.

"Maya Normousbutt."

"Hugh Jass."

"Amanda Huggenkiss."

"Oh, dare we?" Kirigiri giggles a little.

"It'll be so funny when he finds out what he's saying." Naegi says, pulling out his cell phone, "You should totally film it." Kirigiri gives Neagi a quick kiss on the cheek before going back into the office where Togami was sitting, looking over criminal records. Kirigiri sits down on the sofa taking out her own cell phone and opening up the video camera application. She pretends to be texting someone as Togami glances up at her, looking annoyed.

"Hello?" Togami picked up his phone after it ran three times, "Ok, I'll check... Amanda Huggenkiss! Im looking for Amanda Huggenkiss!" Hagakure and Asahina burst into laughter. Kirigiri attempts to remain impassive, though she finds herself laughing a little. Fukawa looks like she's about to faint.

"No! My white night! You don't mean...?" Fukawa begins.

"I don't mean what?" Togami looks irritated, "Why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?"

"Maybe because your standards are too high!" Hinata says, standing in the doorway.

"What the-" realization dawns on Togami's face as he comprehends what he just said, "Listen you little S.O.B, when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!"

"Are you for real dude?" Asks Hagakure, "I mean, you totes should have known that who ever was on the other line was prank calling you! Even I know that!"

"Fuck you all." Says Togami as his phone rings again, "Uh... Hello? Ok, I'll check." Here it comes, Kirigiri thinks to her self, "Jaques Strap! Im looking for a Jaques Strap!"

"Hahahahaha! I wake up from a coma, and that's the first thing I hear?" Komaeda rounds the corner, looking weak, but laughing, "Thats the sort of thing you hear on cartoons!"

"Alright you little S.O.B! When I catch you, Im gonna carve my name into your back with an ice pick!" Togami shouts into the phone before slamming it down, looking mutinous.

"Hey Toges, you ok-" Hagakure is cut of by an angry yell from Togami.

"SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH HOLE BEFORE I NAIL IT SHUT!" The phone rings again, "What?!" he listens for a minute, "Is anyone expecting a call from a Drew P. Wiener? I hold in my hand a Drew P. Wiener!"

"Better put it down then, bro!" Shouts Komeada. Hinata smacks him a high five anth everyone laughs.

"Why you..! Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!" He shouts into the receiver, slamming it down, when another call comes in, "What now?! Oh, you're looking for a Kyouko, is it? Surname Kirigiri, eh? Well, you'd have to be a complete idiot if you'd think that I, Byakuya Togami would fall for such lame joke! Listen to me you little bitch, when I catch you, I'lol stick your phone in a place you'll have a VERY hard time dialing it. Hehe hehe..."

"Hey guys, what did I miss?" Naegi walks in a few minutes later with a fresh cup of coffee to see everyone laughing except Togami and Fukawa.

"Togami got a few prank calls from some ten year old, I assume." Says Asahina, "I mean, he must have had a really awful childhood considering he fell for the ol' Amanda Huggenkiss call."

"Shut. Up." Togami hisses.

"And get this!" Says Hinata, "When someone called looking for Kirigiri..."

"I said SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Togami yells.

"Woah! You fell for that?" Naegi laughs.

"...Fuck...You..."

"And it got REALLY crazy when he said he was holding in his hand a-" Asahina is cut off by Togami throwing a glasses case at no one in partuicular.

"Anger management, bro!" Says Naegi, dodging the projectile which hits the wall a few feet for his head, "Well, I hope you catch the one who's behind it." Naegi's and Kirigiri's eyes met, and a silent laugh was heard only by them. A seemingly boring average day could all be changed by a little bit of devilry.

* * *

AN: YES, people these lines are taken from the Simpsons, so don't bitch about it in the reviews section. Now that we have that out of the way, I just felt like writing this for shots and giggles. I hope you got a good laugh out of this, I know I had fun writing this. Please leave a review, it helps out a lot. If you want me to do more prank calls, let me know. Thank you, and have a nice day!


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